Loving others

"Do as I say not as I do!" Have you ever heard that saying? Does anyone ever know if that works or not? It's funny to me that we perpetuate sayings that make no sense to children who need the example to follow. It's comical that God uses children as mirrors. You know what you're projecting to the world when you watch your children because how they learn is by watching what you do.

How can reflect the value of love for others? How do our children learn how to love others well?

As we discussed in the previous blog number one thing we establish in our household is loving God above all else.

The second commandment is "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Matt 22:39

The second value that we must establish in our houses, churches, and schools is this idea of loving others as you love yourself. Now understand that you can't love others if you have not established a love for yourself. Many lies come in when we are children about how much we are worth loving and who will love us. At all times children deserve our love, respect, and persuit. They need to understand that their value is not based on performance or how much they can change themselves. Their value lies in just being. Many parents push the performance button on their children because we as a society are conditioned to have performance before being recognized as a valuable member of society. I'm not saying that wanting your children succeed in life or have success in school is a bad thing but it can not dictate how you express love to your children.

Lets think about it from a Kingdom perspective. Ephesians 1:4 says "just as He chose us in Him before the foundations of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him."

I don't know how many of you had done anything to get approval before being born but God chose you even before you could do one thing. Not only that before we were alive Christ died for us so that we could have a way back to the Father. This is the same perspective we must have as stewards of children. Knowing that we can't make our love conditional because we have received undeserved, unconditional love from the One who could and had every right to put conditions on His love towards us.

Once we establish as parents and teachers that the goal is to aim our love towards our kids the effect is dramatic. They start to do things because there's a desire inside of them to love us back and make us happy. There's a confidence where they know who they are and know that they are unconditionally accepted no matter what. We as adults can help establish within children a confirmation in their identity as amazing, intelligent, beautiful, and God designed.

When there's an atmosphere of constant affirmation and love the over flow of that is loving others. In 1Corn. 13 it talks about the elements and definition of love. Below is an article outlining that chapter and my thoughts that goal long with it. If you would like to read:

http://aileenthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/07/love.html

With the definition given within this chapter I can almost guarantee that it's impossible to love like this. The element and definition of love is God. God = Love. It's a supernatural element meaning that it goes beyond our nature. We have to tap into the nature of God to be able to demonstrate it. So when you're in the car and the car in front of you does something stupid watch where you aim your mouth because most likely your children are paying attention to what you're saying. Learn to bless and release love not in anger but tapping into the supernatural element of love.

That was just one example amongst the millions of ways throughout the day that your children are watching you. Realize that this is an impossible thing for you to accomplish on your own which should give you hope. If you don't have love for someone in your world stop a minute and tap into the river of love that God has flowing for them. Allow yourself to be a door way from His love to that person. Teach your children how even if you don't feel love for someone God has more then enough love and all you have to do is ask Him to fill your heart with His love for them.

Take every opportunity with your kids to teach them about love. Our love doesn't look like the world's. Love in the world looks like I need a reciprocation or it's conditional on how much I like you at that moment. God's love is never ending and always the same. It never ever fails no matter what that person has done to you or done in general. You can love the most violent person because God loves them more then you could ever imagine.

We must establish that the definition of love has to be met with the standard of love in our households. Love is the ultimate goal of our Christian walk. We have to create an environment where our children learn how to love well. If we revert to demanding performance we're tapping into the religious spirit who demands performance instead of fighting for relationship.

Let us change our houses into love bubbles where there's safety, identity, and a covering for a multitude of sins. With love there's no fear and it covers.

Sometimes in our households fear is established because there's a mindset of punishment. If we believe that Jesus took all punishment for sin on Himself why do we still punish our children and instill fear into their hearts? We will talk about parenting techniques and establishing the fear of the Lord later but I want to leave you with one final thought. Fear casts out love as much as love casts out fear. Which are you establishing in your household?

many blessings on your journey with you little ones!

Aileen Foos

children's pastor

Expression58

www.expression58.org

* Also available for conferences, speaking/teaching engagements, soaking seminars, and ministry consultations. For contact please e-mail: e58kidsmin@gmail.com